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2011-09-28 21:17:57
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A Tribute to Nice Guys




This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores.

This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in Halo 2 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor.

This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.

The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches.

Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks.

Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile.

For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.


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2007-08-20 [The Vampire Lestat]: hey dude you realise this is on my wiki lol?

2007-08-20 [Fire Fox of Nine Tails]: no i didnt, i just had it on my page and decided to amke a wiki so it wouldnt take up so much space anymore

2008-05-02 [Majestic Nightmare of Massacre]: I have something familiar to this. ill find the link to the wiki and send it to you

2011-09-28 [The Iron Warrior]: this is all true you know

2011-09-28 [D.K. Moubitt]: Mystik stop inviting me to things. I'm not interested.

2011-09-28 [The Iron Warrior]: sorry you were in the blood bar thing

2011-09-28 [D.K. Moubitt]: it's fine, just exclude my name next time, k?

2011-09-28 [The Iron Warrior]: k

2011-09-28 [foxyvixen17]: .> *pokes mystic with spork*

2011-09-28 [silverraven66699]: *Pulls Mystik away from Foxyvixen and the fork of doom* No poke Teddy Bear! Not nice to poke him with fork of doom! *cuddles mystik's head to my breasts, watches him turn red all over*

2011-09-28 [The Iron Warrior]: NOT THE SPORK OF DOOM THANX HON YOU HAVE SAVED ME FROM A FATE WORSE THAN DAETH

2011-09-28 [The Iron Warrior]: and daeth is far worse than death lmfao

2011-09-28 [silverraven66699]: *Lets you go and blushes redder than tomato* Y-Your welcome...... *reads comment again* You called me "hun" around other people.... *faints*

2011-09-28 [The Iron Warrior]: is that a prob ?

2011-09-28 [silverraven66699]: N-no, but the guy I was with before this last one is back and I never really broke up with him.... *sighs* Why does my life feel like it's turning into the movie Scott Pilgrim Vs The World??????????????? *Gets a giant peice of leftover birthday cake from the icebox and eats a big bit*

2011-09-29 [foxyvixen17]: its a spork. and he calls all girls hun love and the like

2011-09-29 [The Iron Warrior]: i called her hun not hon thats with a u lol

2011-09-29 [silverraven66699]: *Holds stomach and head* Leftover birthday cake and room temp whisky don't sit so well together...*lays on bed and watches everyone spin*

2011-09-29 [foxyvixen17]: hey mystik check your eyes! i spelled it with a u!

2011-09-29 [The Iron Warrior]: oops

2011-09-29 [silverraven66699]: Oh the yelling....... *covers ears* I'm not a heavy weight anymore, *grabs ringing cell phone* Lord Mother have mercy, it's my mother........ *answers, voice cracks into deep southern tone* "Hey, mama... Whatcha need?"

2011-09-29 [foxyvixen17]: *shakes head at mystik* too many boobie pictures rotted your brain dear boy

2011-09-29 [silverraven66699]: *Smirks and laughs from under covers, yells* My are the ones that did the most damage, I think!? *talks to mom more* "No, mama. I was answering a question... Alright mama, I call you later. Unbye..." *hangs up phone* *Looks mystik over, smirks* His also seen other things on me that might have done it too...

2011-09-29 [silverraven66699]: *gets out of bed wearing only a t-shirt and panties, grabs mystik by the hand and pulls him close* Slow dance with me, Mystik?

2011-09-29 [Epic Failure.. Reign]: Hi, and probably bye since I dont get online much

2011-09-29 [silverraven66699]: Hello, nice to meet you. I'm Ru, this is Mystik...

2011-09-29 [foxyvixen17]: hi reign darlin

2011-09-29 [silverraven66699]: *Hugs Foxyvixen* You made me happy... You said; "darlin" just like a southerner would... *hugs you again* Thank you....

2011-10-01 [drakkar]: :3 truth, truth everywhere

2011-10-01 [silverraven66699]: *Hugs everyone and pulls out a massive box of chocolates* Yes, the truth has been reveiled... *nods, hold out chocolates* You wants chocolate? Help yourselves, there is more than enough...

2011-10-31 [7ohgv]: i read from the top....WHO HAS MY FORK!!?!?!? I HEARD TALK OF THE FORK OF DOOM! DAMN IT IM HUGRY AND NEED THAT!

2011-10-31 [silverraven66699]: *Giggles and pulls said fork from my bra* I have it!

2011-10-31 [7ohgv]: :o *snatches the fork and sniffs it on the cool*-_O where else has this been?

2011-11-01 [silverraven66699]: My pants pocket...*nods* ^^

2011-11-01 [7ohgv]: uh huh...gives it a double sniff* uh uuuuh.....you been FORKIN YOURSELF ON HALLOWEEN!?!?!?!?!

2011-11-01 [silverraven66699]: Ha ha ha, funny van!! *pops the back of your head teasingly* Bob the cat buried it in his litter box.... *lmfao*

2011-11-01 [7ohgv]: riiight....that didnt smell like a litter box...smelled kinda...fleshy :O

2011-11-01 [silverraven66699]: *Chuckles* He humped it too.... See the cat fur on the prongs? *points at the fork*

2011-11-01 [7ohgv]: *i pull out a pair of steam punk goggles with many accessories from a summoned box and put them on as soon as they are o my face the many tools beggin shifting without contact til i have a clear zoom in on the tip of the fork* hmmmmm......*taps chin with finger* yep..... that's female pubes...has a bit of a good pussy smell to it

2011-11-01 [7ohgv]: dude...i helped my homie out today his gf was about to leave for work but they came by and like he kissed her once shortly before she left and i told his ass to get over here then i whispered to him on the cool to go around the side of my house and pick the brightest and best conditioned pink rose on my bush and give it to her lol

2011-11-01 [silverraven66699]: Awwwwww! Your a sweetheart! *hugs you tight and watches you blush* Ok, some freaking dudes in suits came looking for the fork so I put it in my panties and when the used the metal detector on my I told them I had a peircing down there.... *blushes* It was a lie, I did have six done there in high school lol

2011-11-01 [7ohgv]: *pneumatic nail gun noise x 6*

2011-11-01 [7ohgv]: did these men in suits possibly be shroom related??? could they possibly be shrooms? our worlds security may be a stake....*locks fork of doom in a shiny silver box encrusted with huge rubys and passes it back to you* keep it hidden....keep it safe...(total LOTR quote)

2011-11-01 [SongOfShadows]: actually... it's "keep it secret... keep it safe"

2011-11-01 [7ohgv]: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!! the world must know! *trollface*

2011-11-01 [silverraven66699]: *Lmfao* I can't fix the box in my panties... The dudes in suit were goverment, and it was a chick who did my peircings lol

2011-11-02 [7ohgv]: lol sure you didnt do it with a air powered nail gun -_o cuz thatd be epic...of well then...fuck the goverment....they cant even fathom what i could do to them all with one finger...its fun to kill 100s of people with my middle finger *gives example of power by shooting a mini fireball out of myh middle finger at the couch completley destroying it then blows off finger* XD

2011-11-02 [Crimsonwolf of the Obsidian Rose Clan]: holy shit van that almost got me

2011-11-02 [7ohgv]: *throws up peace sign * sowee :3

2011-11-02 [Crimsonwolf of the Obsidian Rose Clan]: thats ok if my arm wasn't messed up i would pull my sword out

2011-11-02 [7ohgv]: *snaps fingers summoning The Emerald Dreamer * i love my sword its so sexy...lmmfao BITCHES DONT KNOW BOUT MY SWORD

2011-11-02 [Crimsonwolf of the Obsidian Rose Clan]: hell you can ask any demon bout mine they fear it

2011-11-02 [7ohgv]: i love mine...i like god mod my guy...its fucked up yes like The Emerald Dreamer is unbreakable and one time i got in an epic battle with a shroom and his power level was so close to mine we broke each others sowrds and i slung a shard into his forehead (shrooms weak spot like zombies) and now my sword is in shards but they stay in a nice floating sword shape ^_^ seems more powerful since it broke

2011-11-02 [Crimsonwolf of the Obsidian Rose Clan]: well mine probably be useless if broken like that

2011-11-02 [7ohgv]: gotta love magic!

2011-11-02 [Crimsonwolf of the Obsidian Rose Clan]: <img:stuff/aj/11021/1320209481.jpg>heres a pic of mine

2011-11-02 [silverraven66699]: Wow, just wow guys *lmfao* Nope, got them done like you would your tongue, clamp and needle lol the chick had me in the back in this room that was totally sound proof *looks around* Kinky things happened.....

2011-11-02 [Crimsonwolf of the Obsidian Rose Clan]: well ru tmi TMI

2011-11-02 [7ohgv]: oh god yes keep goin o.o

2011-11-02 [7ohgv]: lol ive watched inuyasha before used to loved it i know what the tetsuiga and tensaiga looks like ;D

2011-11-02 [7ohgv]: but the tetsaiga isnt metal though...it was from his dads tooth huh?

2011-11-02 [Crimsonwolf of the Obsidian Rose Clan]: yep both swords were

2011-11-02 [7ohgv]: iz teh smartz

2011-11-02 [silverraven66699]: *Sighs* Well, the other chick had fun and I left the place wearing a different pair of panties then what I wore there LOL

2011-11-02 [Crimsonwolf of the Obsidian Rose Clan]: ha funny lol

2011-11-02 [7ohgv]: @_@ yus! sounds like it was somewhat planned...extra panties and all...

2011-11-02 [Crimsonwolf of the Obsidian Rose Clan]: could have been idk

2011-11-02 [silverraven66699]: No, just me panties and her panties were in the room... I remember because mine were black with red hearts on them, her's were leather with a lace crotch and butt... I left wearing those and didn't notice till I home, I didn't have to pay for any of my peircings either lol

2011-11-02 [Crimsonwolf of the Obsidian Rose Clan]: thats nice

2011-11-02 [7ohgv]: hahahah! shweeeeet!

2011-11-02 [silverraven66699]: I think i still have them lol i'm going to have to check now lol

2012-04-11 [Rune Takashi]: At least somebody still wants us nice guys around..

2012-06-04 [silverraven66699]: A lot ppl want you guys around.

2012-06-04 [foxyvixen17]: i want a nice guy...... but i'm attractred to bad boys

2012-06-04 [silverraven66699]: Lol isn't every woman lol

2012-06-04 [The Iron Warrior]: im not a bad guy !im a nice naughty dude hee hee

2012-06-04 [silverraven66699]: Lol

2013-01-09 [Harden my Heart]: Searching for a NICE GUY

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Older comments: (Last 200) 3 2 1 .0.

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